Name: Blood Sisters Book Club, aka The Thicker-Than-Saltwater Book Club
Members: myself, my childhood best friend, the Fated Mates podcast
Kelsey and I met when we were nine years old in a tiny hippie school in Central Virginia. We both had bright-coloured scrunchies and I still had a British accent. After a somewhat terrifying tour of historical fantasy – no child should read Marion Zimmer Bradley! – we started reading historical romance. A natural high-brow, Kelsey blames me for leading her down the paperback romance path. I have no regrets. Because now, with the Atlantic Ocean and Covid separating us, we get to re-read some of those clutch-classics of the genre together.
The Fated Mates Podcasts did a series last year called Books that Blooded Us. Comprised of classics from the 1990s and early 2000, the historicals on hosts Jen and Sarah’s list are pretty much the books that blooded us too. The plan then: read book, listen to corresponding episode, discuss. Simple. What I had not anticipated was just how many GIF exchanges our book club would require. In the case of Lisa Klepas’s Dreaming of You, GIFs of Tom Hardy. (It really is astonishing how filthy than man can render a simply wink.) Hardy, you must understand, is the earthly incarnation of fictional hero and god, Derek Craven.
Before Derek Craven, historical heroes might be scarred, they might brood, they might run illicit enterprises. But they were never working-class gaming hell owners. Derek’s not just working class, but a snaggle-toothed cockney. Lisa Klepas was next level historical for me after cutting my teeth on traditional Regencies and Westerns. I remember the impact of first discovering this rough-hewn hottie. His appeal hasn’t diminished. ‘Oh Derek, you poor, trembling, love struck ruffian scoundrel’ messaged Kelsey. She championed naïve heroine Sara, who is not so universally adored. ‘Her development is fantastic, she is a brilliant, independent woman who is still gestating.’ And when I raged at Sara for running off into the night with Derek’s rival: “He melted her brain and she hasn’t had enough time to scoop it back… she’s in a hormonal tizzy.” Well I guess I can’t fault anyone for a redirected blood-flow when Derek’s on the loose.
I cheered when our hero’s night with sex-worker Tabitha proved a catalyst for the love story rather than a clichéd misunderstand. Unfortunately, some of the other secondary character veer towards the 2-D. We decided Sara’s fiancée is basically Cecil Vyse from Room With A View and that Derek’s former lover Joyce is A MISTAKE. ‘We know he’s desirable,’ said Kelsey, ‘why do we have to have this insane woman to put that into relief for us?!’ We don’t. She serves no real plot function after her bully boys put the beat down on Derek in the opening chapter. She’s also pathologized for being kinky and queer. Not cool. Unfortunately, the Bad Other Woman was a device from the last century that even good authors used. Derek Craven, on the other, is forever.
‘He’s such a considerate mess of a man.’ Yes, Kelsey, he can steal my spectacles anytime.
Up next: Hold on to your hair, Fabio. It’s cross dressing cabin boys with Johanna Lindsey.
